This is a difficult post to write for me. I'm a big people pleaser and never want to offend or upset anyone. I've been dreading writing this because I don't want to upset people (and I'm probably worrying over nothing)! I wanted to write a blogpost to explain what to expect in the next few months. This is very important for family and friends who are local or who are thinking about visiting when we bring the boys home...
First of all, what all you read below is NOT meant to be offensive. I know SO many have helped us along the way and want to be a part of the boys' lives when we bring them home. And you absolutely can... But..
Besides the welcome home at the airport (more about that below), you won't be seeing us for a good several weeks or possible months. We'll be keeping ourselves at home spending time with our boys and learning to go from a family of 4 to a family of 6. We'll spend this time getting the boys on a good routine, and helping establish attachment with us. In order to do this, we'll be basically "hibernating" at home for a good month or so. We won't be going anywhere with the boys. Not to church, stores, family or friends. No where except their doctors.
We also won't be allowing visitors the first few weeks. I hope none of this comes off as offensive or anything, but it's truly important that they learn to connect with us and that Michael and I meet their every need to establish this attachment. Michael and I will be the ones to feed the boys, change Eyob's diaper, doctor their boo-boos, bathe them, etc. They need to know that they don't need to go to just any adult they see (as they've been used to) and that they can come to us - their mommy and daddy.
Many don't realize how different adopting is from just having a baby. Adoption comes with a lot of baggage. One of them being that they have never had the same adults meeting their needs their whole life. They've gone from person to person. Family to orphanage to transition home to us. They need to learn to trust us (and us only at this time) to meet their every need. And that we're not going anywhere. They are stuck with us forever! No more transitioning to ANYone else ever again (besides temporary babysitters, but not for a long time!) Depending on how things go in the first several weeks is how we'll decide when to venture out and allow some people in. At first we will only be allowing immediate family members who will be a part of their constant life and then we'll eventually open up to friends and church and such.
I know this all seems so strict, but it's SO important for the boys! Please help us stick to this plan and please do not be offended by it! It's not that we don't want you to be a part of their lives - we do! Just important for them to get to know us first...
I'm sure many of you are wondering "Well, what CAN we do?"
I'm glad you asked!
#1 - Prayer. Please, please pray for us during this time. For Michael and I, as we prepare to be parents of 4 children! Pray for patience and wisdom! For Ilana and Aydan, who are going from having just each other to adjusting to having 2 new brothers! And especially for Mikiyas and Eyob... They're leaving their home country and coming to the US, which is absolutely nothing like Ethiopia. The language, the food, the climate, the people. It's all going to be SO different for them. Not to mention going from an orphanage/transition home setting to a small family with only 2 adults and 2 other children. It's going to be quite a change for them!
#2 - Meals. Many have asked about cooking meals. That would be fantastic if you are interested! We'll come back exhausted and trying to adjust to the time zone and also to being a new family of 6. Michael won't have any time off once we get back, so I'll be busy a lot on my own during the day, devoting the majority of the day with all 4 kids. I'll likely forget about cleaning, laundry, and do very minimal cooking. So, yes, meals would be great! I'm not sure who will be in charge of coordinating those, but will let you know! Again, the only thing with bringing us meals... It's so important that you don't stay and visit in the first few weeks. I know you want to see the boys and see how things are going, and I promise we'll let you! Just so important for the first few weeks to not. What may be best is for you to just set the food on the porch and send a text or knock or ring the doorbell letting me know you dropped it off.
#3 - You can come to the airport! Like I said, I know so many are anxious and excited to see the boys! This will be a good opportunity to meet them before our hibernation period! When we get the okay to bring the boys home and order our plane tickets, I'll let you know when we'll be landing and where (will try for Ft. Myers so it's not so far). But this is something that many families do and I've absolutely loved seeing photos of Adoption Homecomings! I would love to have that for the boys, as well! ANYONE is welcome to come and welcome the boys home!
Lastly, again I want to thank everyone for all the prayers and support (both financially and just being there) along the way. We're so thankful for each and every one of you for your outpouring of love... It's been an incredible journey and we're grateful to have so many rallied up behind us! Cannot thank all of you enough!
P.S. If you're wanting any of the bracelets, hurry, because they are disappearing FAST! You can click HERE for more info!
First of all, what all you read below is NOT meant to be offensive. I know SO many have helped us along the way and want to be a part of the boys' lives when we bring them home. And you absolutely can... But..
Besides the welcome home at the airport (more about that below), you won't be seeing us for a good several weeks or possible months. We'll be keeping ourselves at home spending time with our boys and learning to go from a family of 4 to a family of 6. We'll spend this time getting the boys on a good routine, and helping establish attachment with us. In order to do this, we'll be basically "hibernating" at home for a good month or so. We won't be going anywhere with the boys. Not to church, stores, family or friends. No where except their doctors.
We also won't be allowing visitors the first few weeks. I hope none of this comes off as offensive or anything, but it's truly important that they learn to connect with us and that Michael and I meet their every need to establish this attachment. Michael and I will be the ones to feed the boys, change Eyob's diaper, doctor their boo-boos, bathe them, etc. They need to know that they don't need to go to just any adult they see (as they've been used to) and that they can come to us - their mommy and daddy.
Many don't realize how different adopting is from just having a baby. Adoption comes with a lot of baggage. One of them being that they have never had the same adults meeting their needs their whole life. They've gone from person to person. Family to orphanage to transition home to us. They need to learn to trust us (and us only at this time) to meet their every need. And that we're not going anywhere. They are stuck with us forever! No more transitioning to ANYone else ever again (besides temporary babysitters, but not for a long time!) Depending on how things go in the first several weeks is how we'll decide when to venture out and allow some people in. At first we will only be allowing immediate family members who will be a part of their constant life and then we'll eventually open up to friends and church and such.
I know this all seems so strict, but it's SO important for the boys! Please help us stick to this plan and please do not be offended by it! It's not that we don't want you to be a part of their lives - we do! Just important for them to get to know us first...
I'm sure many of you are wondering "Well, what CAN we do?"
I'm glad you asked!
#1 - Prayer. Please, please pray for us during this time. For Michael and I, as we prepare to be parents of 4 children! Pray for patience and wisdom! For Ilana and Aydan, who are going from having just each other to adjusting to having 2 new brothers! And especially for Mikiyas and Eyob... They're leaving their home country and coming to the US, which is absolutely nothing like Ethiopia. The language, the food, the climate, the people. It's all going to be SO different for them. Not to mention going from an orphanage/transition home setting to a small family with only 2 adults and 2 other children. It's going to be quite a change for them!
#2 - Meals. Many have asked about cooking meals. That would be fantastic if you are interested! We'll come back exhausted and trying to adjust to the time zone and also to being a new family of 6. Michael won't have any time off once we get back, so I'll be busy a lot on my own during the day, devoting the majority of the day with all 4 kids. I'll likely forget about cleaning, laundry, and do very minimal cooking. So, yes, meals would be great! I'm not sure who will be in charge of coordinating those, but will let you know! Again, the only thing with bringing us meals... It's so important that you don't stay and visit in the first few weeks. I know you want to see the boys and see how things are going, and I promise we'll let you! Just so important for the first few weeks to not. What may be best is for you to just set the food on the porch and send a text or knock or ring the doorbell letting me know you dropped it off.
#3 - You can come to the airport! Like I said, I know so many are anxious and excited to see the boys! This will be a good opportunity to meet them before our hibernation period! When we get the okay to bring the boys home and order our plane tickets, I'll let you know when we'll be landing and where (will try for Ft. Myers so it's not so far). But this is something that many families do and I've absolutely loved seeing photos of Adoption Homecomings! I would love to have that for the boys, as well! ANYONE is welcome to come and welcome the boys home!
Lastly, again I want to thank everyone for all the prayers and support (both financially and just being there) along the way. We're so thankful for each and every one of you for your outpouring of love... It's been an incredible journey and we're grateful to have so many rallied up behind us! Cannot thank all of you enough!
P.S. If you're wanting any of the bracelets, hurry, because they are disappearing FAST! You can click HERE for more info!
This is one of those things that I've been putting off doing but know that, at some point, I must. Thanks for sharing.......and I know that you know it's absolutely the BEST thing for your family.
ReplyDelete